So this post is most likely going to be very rambly and probably will be all over the place, sort of like my emotions right now. I guess I’ll start by saying that me and my mum don’t have the best relationship, I moved out of hers to my dads when I was 16 and she still isn’t over it. The reason I moved out was because her boyfriend moved in and I hated living there. It didn’t feel like my home anymore even though I’d lived there for years. The tipping point was one particular moment that may not sound like a big deal to you guys but on top of everything else, made me come to my senses.
I’d gotten home from school and was making food in the kitchen (I think… I just remember standing at the kitchen counter.) and mum and her boyfriend (I think I’ll just call him SD, for stepdad because they are married now.) got home. I immediately got asked about the living room floor and why I hadn’t mopped it. I said, “well I vacuumed it and didn’t know I was supposed to mop” (it wasn’t standard in our house to mop after vacuuming like it may be in other homes). SD then told me he’d asked me to mop but I clearly don’t remember him ever doing that, and my mum immediately backed him up. I kept saying that I’d do it, but I hadn’t been told. At this point I should have just taken the hint and just apologized but it’s not in my personality to apologise for something I didn’t do and I hate it when things are unjust, but instead I kept saying that I didn’t know I was supposed to.
My mother then said that I had an ‘attitude’ problem and that my hair was the reason for it. Not sure what the reasoning behind this was but my mum is an ‘interesting’ character. My hair was fairly long at this point, and I had it up in a ponytail as usual. Next thing I know my mum is grabbing it and I just hear a chop. She had cut my hair off at the ponytail. This sounds silly as to why I was so upset about my hair being cut but understand that this wasn’t the main reason I left, it was just the tipping point. I was already worked up and very upset at being called a liar by this man who had already split my parents up (mum was seeing him before her and my dad split up) and so I broke down in tears.
They left to go to aikido and I called my dad. I was obviously upset and inconsolable and told him to come pick me up and that I wanted to live with him. He was hesitant as he knew it would cause trouble but I told him that I was leaving regardless. I put all my clothes and stuff into black rubbish bags and waited outside for him to pick me up. He finally came and the whole time I was scared that mum and SD would arrive home and ‘catch me’ and be even more mad. My mum wasn’t violent but she had occasionally thrown things at me like phones and remotes and stuff if she was in a bad mood and I did something wrong (as all 16 year olds do!).
Once dad picked me up and mum found out, she called the police and said dad had ‘kidnapped’ me. The police came and spoke to me and as I was 16, I could choose who to live with. I them moved in to dad’s place and didn’t speak to mum for weeks. I then had to go and stay every second weekend and every time I hated it. We sometimes stayed at SD’s place and I hated this even more. My little sister K seemed fine with it as she was always mums favourite and she is a master manipulator and so she knew how to work mum and dad to get whatever she wants which is mainly where this story is going.
For the past few years she’s been bff’s with my mum and any time dad says no to her, she complains to mum about it. Whether this is when he won’t give her hundreds to spend on clothes or if it’s simply because he is busy and he doesn’t have time to chauffeur her everywhere. He started dating a few years after the split and when he got a girlfriend (who I love!) it got worse. Mum started saying that because he wasn’t meeting K’s every whim and desire that it was because of her.
Now skip to the present, She wants a horse. Yes, a horse. Mum already has 3 who are barely looked after and never ridden except for the occasional ride every few weeks and I hate the way they are neglected like that. Mum got bored one day and decided to by a colt who she kept entire so is now a stallion. He’s turning 5 and has absolutely no training and hasn’t been started yet which means that he will probably never end up being ridden even though he is amazing. I studied equine back in 2004 and so I know what I’m talking about when it comes to horses. I also would love to have my own horse but as I don’t have the financial security to have one yet, I’m waiting and saving. K has now decided that she wants dad to buy her one. Keep in mind she has never worked before, and in my opinion, probably will never work unless she absolutely has to and as long as dad supports her. SD bought her a car (I bought all of mine myself), she has never had an interest in seriously riding ( I saved up to buy myself riding lessons when I was younger) and she is just in general a very entitled spoiled child.
I think this just makes me mad because she gets everything she wants whereas I have to work for what I want. Which is fine, because I don’t mind working hard and earning what I have but for her to try and manipulate my dad like that just sickens me. Mum now wants to know why my dad doesn’t have the money to buy her a horse and wants to go through his finances to see where “it is all going”. Hmmm I wonder, maybe the fact that it’s his money and he can spend it how he likes?
Sorry for this long rant but I’m just so upset and frustrated right now and it seems like every time my mum and I start to mend our relationship and get along, she does something like this and I’m glad I’m moving because I honestly don’t want anything to do with her anymore because it just stresses me out. Ugh.
Anyway rant over… I think.